The Incident Of Which Shall Never Be Spoken Again
by shin'ai
Summary: [oneshot]Parody of the YuGiOh cast in all their fanfictionness. We apologize profusely. [Cowritten by Mikari]


**Written by; **Mikari and Shin'ai, also known as "them".

**Disclaimer;** The YGO cast and the tablecloth do not belong to us. If they did, we'd totally be mauled by now. But the pie is so totally our bitch.  
And no, pie-abusing is not a reportable offence. We checked.

**Warnings;** bashing of about anyone we could get our hands on, and overly stretched descriptions. Also, innuendos and codenames that really don't make sense, but do.

**Notes of the authors; **we are very aware that this might get us flamed, burnt at the stake, pitchforked, pitchsporked, and generally hurt by whatever fan that still likes YGO who reads this. We say to that; GOOD. That was our whole point from the very beginning.  
We also know that you all will probably hate us after this. But remember, we still love you!  
We would also like to apologize for any mental scarring or insults that people may or may not have felt after reading this.  
In retribution, we offer you an imaginary pie, for free.  
And the title bar is too short and ffnet screws up the layout. We demand cookies.

Byebye now.

* * *

**The Incident Of Which Shall Never Be Spoken Again, Ever. For Real.**

Ryou sat sadly in front of the desolate window, because he was sad.  
"I am sad!" he said. "For there has been a sad thing of great sadness that sadly made me sad!"  
"Nani des ka, aibou?" said Yami Bakura, pointlessly using japanese words even though he originated from Egypt and he was supposed to be talking japanese anyway. "what sad thing has made my sad aibou so sadly sad?"  
"Oh, tis so sad!" His other half angsted. "I am sad because of a sad discovery of sad things that I said…er… thingy."  
Bakura tried to steal the tablecloth.  
"Not now, dear. I'm angsting." The silverhaired chibi sad..er.. said, sadly.  
"But… SHINY!", a pouting Yami said, even though evil spirits don't even know what pouting is, never mind actually doing so.  
"I SAID NOT NOW!" Ryou roared with great… sadness? "I AM SAD!"  
"Oh. What ever got you in such a tiffy, good chap?" Bakura said, eating a stolen…er.. BORROWED pie.  
"ALL THE POCKY HAS SADLY VANISHED INTO SAD… ER… THINGY!"

The ancient tomb raider quickly stashed away all the suspicious wrappers.

"That's a very sad thing, my lovely aibou with the nice soft hair that I really want to pet…er..eat, however can we make you un-sad again?" The spirit wondered. "I know! Let's have cheer-up **censored **using **censored** and **censored**!"  
"Well I don't know…" the resident uke said "Can I use the **censored** tonight? I mean, my **censored** is still hurting from all the **censored **you put me through yesternight."  
"Come on baby, you know you want it." The **censored censored, censored** seme said. "I'll even bring the whipped cream!"  
"Well fine then," The gentle loving hikari agreed "Heat up the oven, baby, we're making **censored**!"

_This scene has been removed because of potential emotional scars to small mammals._

"Good day!" the red-black-yellow haired overly-cute hikari with the freakishly large eyes said as he bounced into the wonderfully decorated room with the tastefully placed Christmas tree in the corner of the room, right next to the flatscreen television with DVD, VCR, TNT, CNN, gamecube, Nintendo, pie, flowers and little pieces of parsley, which was located directly in front of the soft cuddly pink fluffy love seat which had bright orange hairy pillows, and the remote lying on it. Next to the loveseat was a small table on which potential visitors could put their drinks, or possibly where the yami and hikari could –

_BUYTHENEWANDIMPROVEDBUNNYRAMAWITHACTUALSPYGLASSESANDPINKUNDERWEARONLYFIVEHUNDRED__  
__ANDTHIRTYTHREEPOINTSIXNINEZEROIHATEYOUFIVEINEVERYSTOREWHEREVERYOUAREWEKNOWWHEREYOULIVE.__  
__Thank you._

-and on the brightly colored window still, there was a pretty yellow flower in an artistic bowl made out of crystallized cheese. And in the left upper corner, when seen from the door the one most to the back wall, there was a small spider eating a misfortunate poor harmless fly™.

"Where is everyone?" The suspiciously innocent looking yugi said, batting his ridiculously long eyelashes over his freakishly large amethyst eyes. "I have not seen the house this quiet since the Candy Cane Incident (ofwhichshallneverbespokenagain,ever.)!"  
He looked around, cluelessly wondering if his ubersexy and very hot Yami would have a clue since he, obviously, did not. Besides, he was just a minor character anyway.

/Yami/ He questioned his totally more attractive other half who could hear his thoughts ANYWAY /Do you know where everyone is? THEY LEFT ME, DIDN'T THEY? ARE YOU GOING TO LEAVE ME TOO? DON'T LEAVE ME, I LOVE YOU! I APOLIGISE FOR WHATEVER I DID AND EVEN THE THINGS I DIDN'T! FEEL THE POWER OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP, FOR I CAN RANT ABOUT THAT JUST AS WELL AS TEA CAN SO PLEASE DON'T LIKE HER BETTER BECAUSE YOU GUYS WENT ON A DATE! I MEAN, YOU'RE IN –MY- HEAD, SO YOU'RE –MINE-! AND-…/

/….huh/ The bishounen replied, sleepily. /Whatever are you ranting about NOW? I was sleeping, for crying out loud, because it's the only thing I actually rule at, besides cheating and gloating to all the suckers who fell for it./

/…nothing. / The innocent little tiny guy with the gravity-defying hair replied, innocently. /But would you happen to have any sort of a clue to where everyone besides the psycho twins, their sister, the ice queen and his faithful puppy and small bushy-haired kid, my grandfather, the pole dancer, and basically just about everyone except for the eye-toy and his master went, since I don't/

/…what/ The handsome former pharaoh replied  
/Bakura and Bakura equals where/ His aibou said, SLOWLY.  
/Kitchen./ his other half replied, promptly falling asleep again.  
"YAY!" the cheery hikari chirped, cheerily.  
And so the happy 'innocent' little pipsqueak skipped into the kitchen.

And froze.

And stared.

…and stared.

_Lovely weather out, isn't it? Oh yes, I do say so! Pity it didn't snow longer though, but you know what they say, you can't have the whole pie-_

_The interrupting person that interrupted has been brutally mauled. Thank you for your patience. Have a nice day, thank you, byebye now. No, really. Scam. Shoo!__  
__…Thank you._

And squealed.

"OMIGOSH WHY DIDN'T YOU GUYS TELL ME YOU WERE BAKING PIES? I WOULD HAVE SO JOINED IN!"

The silver-haired hikari turned around from his **censored**.

Surprised, he answered "oh, hello kind sir. Do we know you?"

And Yugi hang himself, and no one cared.

And then they ate the delicious jummy mouthwatering breathtaking **censored**.

The end.

* * *

R&R?

Flames stoke the fire on which we bake our pies.  
Positive reviews get the pies.

…we love you!


End file.
